Feeling tense and worked up? Has something rattled your cage? Feeling angry is a natural and normal part of life. Hand-in-hand with feelings of anger often come physical sensations; including burning, contraction and general tension and tightness in the body. Anger is a very powerful emotion loaded with energy, which like stress, can also manifest itself in physical illness. Signs of anger-related illness include elevated blood pressure and strain on the heart. It is vitally important that you are able to learn how to release this energy in a constructive way; learning techniques to release this energy is the key to successful anger management.
If you suffer with frequent bouts of anger, consider the following common underlying non-conscious beliefs which could be the root source of your anger problems, such as:
- Having been controlled or invalidated as a child
- Issues with mistrust
- Criticising, shaming, or verbally abusive parents
- Emotional deprivation
- Vulnerability to harm from others
- Feeling of not being good enough or worthy
These issues often present themselves as some of the underlying (non-conscious) beliefs at the source of anger problems. If you don’t want to be caught in anger, when you feel anger taking over, allow yourself to bring your attention directly to the physical sensations, really allow yourself to feel what is present. Ask yourself, ‘what is it that is really driving my anger?’ Is one of your non-conscious beliefs at the root of your anger? Often, the main culprit is fear, hurt or pain. Now ask yourself ‘can I meet the depth of this experience I feel with gentleness and kindness?’ Remember that it may be inbuilt experiences that have caused you to react so adversely. Be kind and gentle to yourself, and recognise that remaining in a state of anger will only hurt you more, unless you can learn to be kind to yourself and identify the best anger management strategies that work for you.
I’ve identified five alternative techniques to help with anger management:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), is a form of therapy dealing with negative cognitive (thought) patterns. CBT has three key stages:
- Firstly, specific techniques are used to help to immediately bring anger symptoms under control. These techniques include extensive stress reduction and relaxation programmes, aimed at reducing the sense of threat, violation, frustration, fear and guilt and all other feelings that such emotions can produce.
- Secondly, standard CBT is used to address negative thoughts and beliefs about your self, other people, and your future.
- The final part of CBT addresses deeply rooted beliefs and schemas from the early parts of life (in a similar manner to that of Transactional Analysis) which are then rectified to prevent future outbursts of anger, such as:
- identifying negative automatic thoughts
- testing these as hypothesis rather than facts
- exploring and discovering what false beliefs are being held
- replacing these beliefs with more positive ways of thinking.
Hypnotherapy, also known as self hypnosis is a form of creative relaxation that works to set free our unconscious (subconscious) mind. Our body has natural mechanisms to handle stress and regulate our emotions, but occasionally they need a little help in operating properly. It’s possible to retrain your mind to stop reacting in ways that are not beneficial to your well-being.
Past life therapy
Past life therapy is the practice of applying tools for regression, to tap into previous incarnations. Past life therapists will guide you into a hypnotic state, to help you to recall your past life experiences, and identify any situations encountered in past lives that may be still having an effect in your current incarnation.
Working with your regression therapist, you will be able to identify experiences that have had an effect on your current life. You may be surprised to discover that some of your fears are deep rooted in your past lives. Acknowledging these experiences will help you to understand the root of the anger, to rationalise your emotions, and help you to address and overcome the fears you have.
If you want to wave goodbye to anger for good, meditation may be for you. The refusal to acknowledge ourselves can be the cause of most grief. Meditation helps to lead you to place of relishing of being alive, but it can only be known through direct experience. Even pain can feel quite rich. Try meditation techniques to help you become more self-aware and learn to acknowledge yourself in the here and now.
Try using crystals to aid your relaxation and meditation. Many crystals are known for their relaxing and healing properties. Agate can help to calm nerves and reduce stress. It can help to release stress, bring relaxation and help you to stop worrying, to prevent anger. Keep a piece close to you or hold the crystal in your hand when you are likely to encounter stressful events.
Amber radiates with the brightness of solar energy, helping you to turn the negative into positive in situations, and overall promoting positive frame of mind. It revitalizes the mind body and soul and helps to relieve depression.
Finally, try Blue Calcite for its gentle, calming energy to help reduce negativity, and soothe fraught nerves.